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NSFW tale; Advice; & #MyFinalPoops Stool chart

NSFW tale; Advice; & #MyFinalPoops Stool chart

Look Down After; You never know what's lurking in those depths.

A slightly graphic story – but a tale that I think is worth saying. RE: Crohns.

As as kid, before all this kicked off at 12 years old, there were times where I wouldn’t speak to someone about my issues. This is 100% sware-down true story (or at least, I remember it so vivadly, that I can name names and the exact place we were walking)… I was with my mates. Still primary school age. I remember we were playing a game of “I hate it when….”, you must know, the “I hate it when BLAH BLAH” happens, then someone tries to top it. But real things.

I remember saying “I hate it when there is blood in my poo”. Everyone burst out laughing (and a few with a nervous laughs too; “Wait a sec, it’s normal to have blood in poop? I don’t have that… is there something wrong with me?). One of the older brothers (but not much older) said “That’s what girls do” (in retrospect: talking about Periods).

I was shocked this didn’t happen to everyone. I thought it was normal. Not daily, weekly or even monthly – but that it’s something that happens. I didn’t speak of the situation for a long time afterwards, I think I eventually told my Dad when my stomach pains started getting worst.

Sometimes you can’t feel it and don’t know until you look down; sometimes it stings really badly. Sometimes it’s bright red, and sometimes it’s a really dark red. Sometimes it’s just a little bit, and sometimes it’s so much that you can’t see more than 1-2cm deep in the water, in the toilet bowl….. all these ‘sometimes’ mix up with each other – they’re unrelated.

It depends on where you’re ‘cut’ or where the ‘inflammation’ is.

If you have a kid, and they’re always getting stomach aches, you might think at first they just want to bunk of school, or something like that – but do take note; you can tell by if the ‘stomach ache’ sometimes happens outside of (something they don’t want to do).

#MyFinalPoops Stool Chart ™©®

This is written in semi-jest, but for the real thing, check out Gut Sense’s guide or WebMD’s version.

Type One: Malteasers
Seporate Hard Lumps – Very Consitpated

Type Two: School Fate Cake Stand: Malteasers made into a bar.
Lumpy and Saussage Like – Slightly Constipated

Type Three: Picnic Bar.
A sausage shape with cracks in the surface – Normal

Type Four: Hotdog (Frankfurter).
Like a smooth, soft sausage or snake – Normal

Type Five: Heroes; that have been left out in the sun all day.
Soft blobs with clear-cut edges – Eat More Fibre

Type Six: Chocolate Ready Break.
Mushy consistancy with ragged edges Inflamation

Type Seven: McDonald’s Chocolate Milkshake.
Liquid consistancy with no solid pieces – Inflamation

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